Recovery Day 45 - 31st January 2013

Woke up at 8:15, I couldn't lift my head off the pillow it was banging that hard. I sent Matt down to get me a drink so I could take my tablets. After I'd taken them I waited in bed for a bit for them to kick in before I started my morning routine. 

I'm so bad at taking tablets I start to retch just thinking about it, so with an added 9 a day to take with the extra antibiotics this is going to be a rough 10 days.

I've been getting lots of strange sensations in my cheeks the last few days and I'm pleased to say that I've got very light feeling back in them. I have more in the left than right and its not 100% pre op sensation but this is a step in the right direction and has cheered me up after the disheartening of the infection news yesterday. In regards to swelling, it's still there but most people say if they didn't know me they would just think that's how I look. When I look in the mirror I see a porky me looking back. There are 4 main areas of swelling, the cheeks near the nose and the lower jaw. These are the locations of the plates so understandably it's still puffy. I am beginning to get a better idea of the finished product now and I'm liking what I see. I just wish I could shake the infections and pain off.... Oh and feel my lips and eat a massive pizza!!!

I went for my appointment with the works doctor who said I'm still not fit for work and suggested taking some more time to recover. I feel very guilty being away from work but deep down I know this is the right thing to do. I still can't speak 100% well, am in pain, tire easily and drink from a sippy cup so more rest and recovery is exactly what I need.

After my appointment we went straight home and I had some sieved chicken and sweetcorn soup with a dash of soy sauce in it for some added flavour. I then went and had a lay down on my bed. The next thing I knew it was 5pm and I'd fallen asleep for a few hours.

I went to pick mum up from the train station, it's not very far away and just enough of a distance for me to drive to get used to it again, I'm starting to feel more confident driving but I feel I have a little way to go to get back to Pre op state. 

For tea I had blended chilli with a dollop of sour cream and cheese. It was lovely even if I do say so myself. 

I went to bed at 9 and watched some TV. By 10 my head was banging so I took my tablets and went to sleep. 

Recovery Day 44 - 30th January 2013

Woke up at 08:30 and felt groggy and tired, I still had sore ears so I called the doctors and arranged an appointment for 09:30. Got dressed, took some pain killers, did my nasal spray and changed my bands and it was time to go.

For the first time ever I actually got seen on time. The doctor looked down my ears and said they were inflamed and infected so you've guessed it.... More antibiotics! I hate taking tablets, I'm so bad at it!

After the doctors I went home, felt totally drained, tired and groggy. I felt a bit disheartened getting another infection but at least now I've got my antibiotics and they can start working. 

I wasn't that hungry at lunch time so I just had butternut squash soup. I spent the afternoon lay on bed watching TV and napping. 

For tea I made a loose spaghetti bolognese with tiny pasta mixed into it with cheddar cheese on the top. It's good to top things with cheese for extra flavour. I didn't have any dessert because I didn't feel like anything.

In the evening I prepared my clothes for tomorrow as I'm up early because I have a meeting with works doctor just to see how I'm getting on. As I was getting things ready I managed to fall over the dog and really hurt my hand. The dog was ok, he knew I'd hurt myself so gave me extra cuddles. 

The pain I've experienced today has mainly been in my nose, cheeks and ears, it's not like me to be so tired and lethargic. When I'm at normal health I'm usually non stop, running round here there and everywhere and training at the gym, I'm fed up of not feeling normal now but I still don't have an regrets. The operation was only 6 weeks ago so I think I'm pretty much on track. I'm pretty sure some feeling is coming back as I'm getting strong strange sensations all over my face. Some of them hurt and some just feel weird. I hope if nothing else my lip feeling return soon. 

Dropped off to sleep really easily, I blame the infection!! 

Recovery Day 43 - 29th January 2013

Wow, despite getting to sleep reasonably easily last night I woke up groggy as anything this morning. I had a really bad headache, sore teeth and gums (even though I can't feel them) Aching nose, sore ears and shooting pains in my chin.  

I had a lazy morning, I had plans to see friends in the afternoon so I wanted to save what bit of energy I had for then. 

I had no energy at all if I'm honest, and I had to keep taking a rest while drying and straightening my hair,despite taking  painkillers first thing and again after lunch the pains just wouldn't lift. 

I went to meet friends at 4:30, Matt drove me I felt so bad. It was nice to have a little chat and a hot chocolate. Ive found that some shops, restaurants and cafés are very sympathetic and caring while others just look at me like I've got two heads when I ask for a drink in my sippy cup. The place we went to today is a garden centre, the lady serving was very confused by my request! I had to go into detail that I'd had jaw surgery and couldn't use a normal cup etc it was very stressful ordering a hot chocolate but it tasted yummy and after all the confusion the lady only charged me 40p for it instead of £3 something.

In the evening I had extra lean steak mince, with roasted sweet potato mash, roasted tomatoes and a gravy all mashed together and it was gorgeous. Im getting used to preparing slop now! My dessert was a very loose rice pudding made by mummy and that was very nice too.

I've tried using normal cutlery and glasses and I can't quite manage yet. I think when I get some feeling back in my lips I'll be more successful. I seem to have a very small percentage of feeling back in my cheeks. Well it doesn't feel normal like if I touch my hand or something. It feels tingly or almost stingy but it's good news and a step in the right direction. 

I went to bed at 8pm because I was in pain and felt very lethargic. I lay in bed and watched TV for a bit. My ears, nose and chin had almost constant shooting pains in them. Before I went to sleep I set my alarm for 08:30 so I could call the doctors in the morning. Increased pain is a worry to me, by now the pain should be subsiding not getting worse.

I fell asleep really early... Yipppeee second night in a row!! 

Recovery Day 42 - 28th January 2013

Woke up at 8:30, my head was banging but apart from that I felt ok, I had some minor pain around the usual areas, cheeks, ears, nose but it was manageable. 

Hubby was off today and had to run a few errands in the village, I felt like I needed to get out so I decided to go with him. After the usual routine nasal spray, intensive teeth cleaning and band changing we were ready to go. I got some trousers out to wear and when I put them on they were literally hanging off me as was the vest top and cardigan. Quite scary to believe how much weight I've lost without trying!

I craftily packed my sippy cup in the hope that I might be treated to a hot chocolate with fresh cream from Costa Coffee.                      

As I've mentioned before the cold has really been getting to me lately so I got really wrapped up. Big coat, scarf, gloves, hat the lot. I looked scary but I was very snug. Once we'd run our errands Matt treated me to my hot chocolate.... It was delicious. As we were walking round Matt was asking me if I wanted to go into the clothes shops, I declined. I didn't have the energy to even look. I could see the shock on Matts face when I declined... This showed how bad I was really feeling if I didn't  want to shop for clothes!! 

When we got home I had mashed up stew for lunch that mum had prepared, it was a lovely little portion just right for my shrunken stomach. 

In the afternoon a friend of Matt and I popped round with his dog, it's nice to have visitors but leaves me exhausted. 

For tea I made colcannon mash. It consists of mashed potato with cabbage, leeks, and chopped up bacon (cut into in tiny pieces) all mixed together. It's perfect for a soft diet and full of flavour. I also roasted some cherry tomatoes, they are also full of flavour and are soft to eat. For dessert I had creme  brûlée which again is a nice and soft.

In the evening we just watched TV, my right cheek was up to something this evening.  It felt itchy, burning and restless with little shooting pains and when I physically touch it it feels weird. I think this is a good sign!! My face however, looks really swollen, it literally changes shape daily depending on how much I do. 

Since the operation I've suffered with really dry, chapped lips. There is one area on my upper lip really struggling to heal so tomorrow I'm going to go and get some more medicated lip balm to see if it'll heal once and for all.

Went to bed at 11pm and miraculously it only took me about 2 hours to get to sleep instead of the usual 3-4! 

Recovery Day 41 - 27th January 2013

Well after struggling to sleep last night I obviously didn't want to wake up when the alarm went off. Woke up with sore teeth and gums today, I think I might be clenching my teeth in my sleep because of the new position of the jaw and teeth. I had the usual thick head with a bit of earache thrown in for good measure too!!

Matt and I were meeting mum and dad for breakfast this morning. I had mashed up beans, mashed up scrambled egg and mashed up black pudding with a freshly squeezed orange juice. It was very nice but I couldn't finish it all. I don't eat a lot these days and I get full up very quickly. I took my weaning spoon and sippy cup with me as I always do when I go out, I'm fine using it in public now, yes people stare but I'm over it... They can look all they want! 

After breakfast Matt left to go to work and I stayed with mum and dad , although not snowing today there was a bitter wind that just made me want to be inside. I seem to be feeling the cold a lot these days. Not only in my face but my body too. Mum reckons its because of the weight loss.

My tea was yummy again, mum and dad know how to look spoil me. I had mashed up fish pie then a fresh cream orange trifle for dessert!

I've had a lovely day with mum and dad today, and my little doggy brother Barney but I've found I've been a bit down this evening, I can't put my finger on why, maybe frustration at the situation or simply fed up. I've read that depression can set in after facial surgery because of how different you look during the healing process with swelling and bruising. I'm so happy with my straight jaw and I love how my nose now has a cute little up turn on it, but I'm fed up with the swelling. My jaw tires so quickly and I've never been so quiet in my life. I am a talker but at times these days I simply don't have the energy to speak, especially when I need to explain something in depth or lengthy. I'm not depressed, I think I'm just a bit down and fed up!

The swelling on my right side is much bigger than the left at the moment, it's definitely got bigger over the last few days. Now this is the side where I'm getting the cheek pain and the majority of the shooting pains in my ear and nose. Thats Possibly just a coincidence though and possibly the reason why I'm a bit down. 

Matt finished work at ten, he's off for a few days now so he can have his turn of looking after me and spoiling me while mum and dad head back to work!! 

As I've not been sleeping very well for a while now I decided to take a sleeping tablet tonight, it didn't work and still took hours to get to sleep!!  

Recovery Day 40 - 26th January 2013

Despite a lovely nights sleep woke up groggy, mainly with a headache, sore cheeks and these shooting pains in my nose and ears, they only last a few seconds but they take you're breath away. 

After the morning routine of nasal spray, pain killers and band changing I got dressed ready for the day.

Matt was working in the afternoon so I decided I was going to make my first unsupervised drive to mum and dads. It was about 5pm when I went round and was pretty dark. I felt so weird driving on my own. It's ok driving on not so busy roads at quiet times etc but I'm reluctant to make longer journeys at the moment as when I get these shooting pains I fear I could flinch and crash.  I made it to mum and dads in one piece and felt quite proud of myself! Feeling proud of myself for such a silly daily routine seems quite ironic as I'm normally flitting here, there and everywhere in my little car and its strange to think that a 3 minute journey could be such a bit deal... But it was. 

I feel this recovery is about taking little steps, in the early days you see a lot of changes happening, stitches falling out and swelling and bruising going down. Now, 40 days in the changes aren't so obvious. This is the really important stage of the recovery now, the time consuming part where most of the action is happening on the inside. Yes I get to see the swelling fluctuate depending on the usage of my jaw but I don't get to see the bones, muscles and nerves repairing. I do get to feel all strange little pains and sensations in my face, which sounds strange as my face is numb to touch, they must be coming from deep inside. 

I had tea with mum and dad, my mum is so cute, she broke down pieces of uncooked spaghetti and made me spaghetti Bolognese for tea. For dessert she put lime jelly through the rice so it was really soft and put clotted cream ice cream over it. It was delicious! 

Before this operation I didn't really think about eating afterwards, yes I knew I'd be on liquids and slops but I didn't quite realise what numb lips meant. I didn't consider the dribbling, the inability to drink from a cup or a mug or eat of a fork or a regular spoon, not being able to blow, sip or suck. Numb gums and cheeks and even under my eyes I could live with for the rest of my life, but numb lips.... I'm not sure. I just hope that one day something in them returns. Mr D wasn't overly concerned at the lack of feeling at this stage, he seemed fairly confident that it will return.

I was a little disheartened tonight when we took my daily mugshots, my chin on the right hand side up to the top of my eye is more swollen today making my chin appear wonky again, putting this down to overdoing it yesterday.   

Went home from mums then went to bed, back to not being able to sleep. I'm unsure why exactly I'm struggling to sleep. It's not through pain alone, deep down I think I'm worried about work, worried about being off, worried about going off and just generally feeling guilty. I can't even consider going back yet. Not while I'm on sloppy food and drinking from a sippy cup with a big fat swollen face. I just need to put it to the back of my mind but that's easier said than done.

Recovery Day 39 - 25th January 2013

Woke up at 0900, hungover minus the alcohol, still with this pain in my cheek. This pain is a new thing that's started over the last 2-3 days and if its not improved by Monday I think I will give Mr D, my consultant a call and see what he thinks it is.

The swelling on the lower left hand side of my face is looking quite good today, but with that being minimised the right side looks bigger. Despite that, its nowhere near as big as day 2&3 when it really peaked.  You only realise how much things have changed when you actually look back. 

I took my morning pain killers which is a must for me at the moment to enable me to operate. Then commenced the nasal spray, intense teeth brushing and band changing. Since the operation I feel like I've not been able to clean my teeth properly. I think this is due to the restriction in mouth opening, I've tried using a baby toothbrush but that's not much good either. When Mr D discharged me and prescribed me with an anti bacterial medicated mouthwash he said this could stain my teeth but not to worry as the stains will come off when my teeth are cleaned professionally. Next time I go to Miss F the orthodontist I'm going to see if she can refer me to the hygienist.

I was accompanying my dad to a funeral today so I had to go the whole hog with a hair dry and straighten and make -up, it's so strange putting stuff on my skin and I can't even feel it and I don't look like me. Well when I say I can't feel it, I kind of can in some places put not properly. 

I had butternut squash soup for lunch, it was a cold, snowy day so that was a nice lunch.

I really wouldn't be leaving the house under normal circumstances with this awful weather but today with the funeral I had to.

It was so cold at the crematorium, it was snowing and was 0 degrees. When we were waiting outside I was cold to the bone and my face was really aching. 

As its Friday, a north west of England tradition is chip shop tea night, I've not had a chippy tea for what feels like a lifetime but really it's since mid November. Mum and dad suggested I try a fish cake, cut it open, scoop out the middle and mash it with a bit of butter. So mum, dad and Matt when to the chippy and I had a fish cake... Not quite the same but it was nice. The batter looked and smelt amazing but there was no way I could get that down so mum took care of that for me!!!

Spent the evening at mum and dads and the snow was really coming down. I can't wait for the weather to warm up a bit. 

I've been suffering with some sharp pains in my nose, ears and lips tonight as well as the cheek pain. I was so tired with the adventure of the funeral I dropped off to sleep really quickly. 

Recovery Day 38 - 24th January 2013

I woke up groggy again this morning, this could be linked to the possible sinus damage / issue as I've spent time through the night lay down. The swelling is looking really good, although I still don't look like me yet and the swelling fluctuates depending on the circumstances. It's always worst first thing in the morning, due to being lay down and then gets worse if I've been especially active for example nattering with visitors!! 

The pain levels are pretty much the same, pain still in my teeth, gums, upper and lower jaw, aching nose then the odd shooting pains in my ears and the pain I had in my cheek yesterday was still there but didn't seem as bad this morning. The pain is not excruciating but it's there! 

After doing my usual morning routine of pain killers, nasal spray and band changing I thought I'd get washed and dressed and put a bit of make up, I normally wear make up every day but now it's almost painful to apply and because I don't quite look like me looking in the mirror isn't on my list of favourite things to do. Don't get me wrong, I'm over the moon with the results and I'm sure when the swelling goes down it'll get easier.

After getting dressed, I was worn out so I spent the day pottering round at home, I was going to take the dogs for a walk but the temperature outside was -2 which hurts my face even if I do cover it. Instead I took pictures of the dogs looking cute... Here's one of Binky!! 

For my lunch I had some shepherds pie that mum had prepared for me. 

When Matt came home I made some tea of spaghetti bolognese. When it was in a completely finished state I separated mine and put it through the blender so it was more smooth. I then cooked a few pieces of baby pasta and stirred it through the sauce. Although it didn't look like spaghetti bolognese, it taste like it!! I also had a freshly squeezed orange juice made with 3 oranges, sieved with ice. I'm doing this to assist with toilet troubles!! 

Since I've been back on full time slop for the last 4 days I've not had any heartburn. There's no way I could chew just yet so going to stay on the slop. 

After tea I said I wanted to nip to mum and dads, I decided to drive. It's only a very short car journey. It still felt strange driving and I don't think I could drive alone or a long journey yet. The reason for this is because of the pain. When I get the shooting pains it does take my breath away and if this was to happen when driving I could have an accident. 

My treat tonight was putting a Milky Way magic star on my tongue and letting it melt! 

We went to bed at 10pm and watched some TV. I noticed when Matt was having a drink I still can't gulp consecutive sips. I just can't get my lips to move. I tried to, but that just ended with a change of a pyjama top after it went all over me!!

When we turned the lights off ready to go to sleep I couldn't drop off, it felt like there were loads of little ants running over my 
face, there was also the odd electric shock feeling. Although annoying, I believe this is only a good thing and hopefully some feeling may be on its way back!! 

Recovery Day 37 - 23rd January 2013

Woke up at 9am, my right cheekbone was really painful, it felt like I had been punched in it. I took some tablets and went back to bed for a bit with the dogs after taking some painkillers, brushing my teeth, changing my bands and doing my nasal spray.

At 11am I got up and Matt came home for lunch. I had blended stew that mum had made for me. At the moment my body is definitely responding better to slop / soft blended meals opposed to me trying to swallow more whole meals. I feel like I should be back on normal food by now, but then I remember its only been 5 weeks so I'm doing quite well really.

In the afternoon I lay by the fire with the dogs, I was planning on going for a walk today but it was snowing and I couldn't risk taking a fall.

For tea I made roasted sweet potato mash, creamed spinach and salmon fillet topped with a garlic and herb sauce (mashed up obviously) it was really nice. For dessert I had a little trifle pot. It was smooth jelly, custard and cream.

In the evening the pain in my cheek increased, it was a different type of pain. The only way I can describe it is as deep in the bone, like it had been struck. I took some pain killers and they weren't taking the pain away.

When I went to bed I thought I'd take some codeine to see if that would help but it didn't. Struggled to get to sleep again also!!

Recovery Day 36 - 22nd January 2013

Slept ok last night, I was very tired with my little adventure yesterday. Got up at 0900 and went to get the dogs. Took my tablets, brushed my teeth, changed my bands, did my nasal spray then went back to bed for an hour as I was tired again. I didn't go to sleep, I just looked on the iPad.
   
11:30 Matt came home for lunch. I had a meatball baby food that my friend had got for me. I had to mash it up as it had whole meatballs in it. I put some salt and butter in it to add some flavour and I quite enjoyed it. 

In a way I feel like I've taken a step back with eating, but I can't physically chew and when just swallowing food I get heartburn so I'm going to stick to slop for another few weeks. I'm not quite sure why chewing it so difficult, I think it's 1) it hurts 2) the jaw feels weak 3) my teeth don't fit together very well after the move so that makes it awkward too. 

When Matt returned to work dad and his dog Barney popped round. My car hasn't been used since the operation and now won't start. Dads a mechanic so as well as having lunch and a brew he also had a look at my car. 

By the time dad had gone gone Matt was back home. I said I'd like to try and drive, just a short supervised journey to 1) give the car a run 2) see if I can remember how to drive. 

I got myself ready and went for a 15 minute drive, it felt weird but it was ok. I had that vulnerable, anxious feeling but it's to be expected. I've not driven since the operation and there are still snow and icy patches on the ground. I let Matt drive home, I was getting shooting electric shock pains in my upper lip, left cheek and ear. I take these pains, as painful as they are as a positive thing and I'm keeping everything crossed that feeling will start to come back shortly. 

I was so tired after my little adventure, luckily I'd already prepared the tea earlier on. I made a chilli, then separated mine and put it in the blender. It made a thick but smooth consistency and when serving  I added a dollop of half fat creme fraiche and some grated cheese. It was very nice indeed. I also had a drink of freshly squeezed orange juice with ice. 

 

I went to bed a 8pm and watched TV, despite being tired struggled to drop off. 

 



Recovery Day 35 - 21st January 2013

Woke up at 7:30, with that all too familiar feeling of being hungover, I hate the way I feel so awful and groggy in the morning. My nose is still sore, and my teeth and gums are sore too.

Took my tablets and stayed in bed for 30mins. 
 

It's snowing really bad this morning, two of my friends are meant to be visiting today but one has a little boy who I don't want her bringing out in the awful snow. Once dressed we decided we would go to them as the weather was so bad and Matt could drive.

We had a lovely afternoon catching up with them, but socialising is very tiring. For lunch I had carrot and potato mash, it was very nice. My friends got me a fudge milkshake as I can't eat chocolate to cheer me up and some lovely flowers.
 

On the way home I was so sore and tired. I was tired in myself but my jaw was tired too.

For tea I had blended macaroni cheese watered down with some milk. It was really nice, there was no way I could've managed anything more exotic today. 

In the evening I started getting really sharp electric shock style pains in my nose, upper lip and ears. Not sure if this nerves knitting back together ready for feeling the to return or if I have just overdone things today. Went to bed quite early. 

 

Recovery Day 34 - 20th January 2013

Woke up sore and tired, it was very cold and snowy outside. Too cold for me to go out so I stayed in bed for a bit.

My dad came round with a Mcdonalds breakfast. I just ate the scrambled egg but I enjoyed it, and I also had a hot chocolate which was lovely. 

We spent the rest of the day pottering at home. 

For lunch we had some chicken and sweetcorn soup with soy sauce.

For tea I made tiny pasta with mince and sauce, again I woke up in the night with the food sat in my throat and kept being sick in my mouth. I think both tonight's and last nights teas where too adventurous for me just yet. Just swallowing the food is not good for me so back to slop tomorrow. 

I managed to lift my upper lip up and find my scar, it's impressive and very neat. Still got a bit of pins and needles in my upper lips but its not as sore however it's still as numb. 

Today was a real lazy day spent with my dogs and husband and it was lovely. It's easier for me to go at my own pace. 

Went to bed about 11pm and dropped off quite easily.

 

Recovery Day 33 - 19th January 2013

Had an ok nights sleep, woke with the usual pain so stayed in bed while the painkillers started to work. After that I changed my bands and did my nasal spray. 

We were running out of food at home so we decided to write a shopping list and go food shopping. Eating is still a nuisance and I can't keep eating the same thing of mashed potatoes, mashed vegetables and mashed fish every day. 

I decided on some meals and headed out, it was snowing and cold again and my face doesn't like cold, it aches. 

After shopping we went home and I put my pjs back on. 

For tea I made some tiny pasta bows in a creamy garlic sauce the pasta was tiny and I figured I could just swallow it, it was ok but I woke up with heartburn and a stomach in the night. I think this is because I was just swallowing the food instead of chewing it. 

The swelling is looking really good, now it just looks like I have a fat face. My lips are a lot less swollen too. Some feeling appears to be coming back in the upper part of my face. But it's my lips that are still dead as are my gums. I could literally stick a needle in them and couldn't feel it.

We went to bed and watched some TV, I then took my night painkillers.

 

Recovery Day 32 - 18th January 2013

Today I had to get up at at 6:30, I had to in into Manchester on the train with mum. I woke up sore, if I'd have had no plans I'd have spent the morning in bed. But I just had to get up and I felt awful.

We nipped to Manchester and did what we had to do. I had a hot chocolate in my sippy cup and it was delicious. It was really cold out, snowing infact and despite being wrapped up my face was really aching with the cold. 

We headed back and mum dropped me off at home. I was really tired and spent the evening relaxing. For me tea I had baked sweet potato, where I scooped the flesh out  and mashed in some crushed petite pois, roasted cherry tomatoes and tiny weeny pieces of bacon. It was delicious! 

I then went to bed because I was sore and tired.